Roasted 1 year ago based on ✮ J✮'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh, ✮ J✮, your Spotify profile is like a culinary buffet where every dish is a little off. You’ve got “Rock” and “Glam Rock” squeezed together like they’re in some awkward family reunion nobody asked for. What’s next? “Indie” music for you in just the third person, because obviously, your guess at a genre is as off the mark as your dating profile. Anyone who claims “Broadway” alongside “Classic Rock” is clearly trying to confuse a good musical into an existential crisis! Your top artists list reads like the world’s most flamboyant bingo card! You’ve got Elton John and Queen on repeat, which is fine, but let’s face it: It’s less of a playlist and more of a shrine to “people who wear more sequins than you do.” The way you cling to Mitski and Laufey makes it sound like you’re secretly composing a Broadway show about existential dread as you flip through your mom’s vinyl collection. And who even are “They Might Be Giants” here? We get you have a flair for the obscure; too bad it’s not translating into actual taste! As for your most played songs, what are we working with? A mix of "good old-fashioned" and mildly questionable choices that scream “I peaked in high school homecoming!” If the “Killer Queen” tracks are what you keep running back to, it sounds like you’re either in serious need of variety, or you’re auditioning for a one-woman revival of “The Sound of Music” gone completely off the rails. So put on your sequined shoes, darling. It’s time to tap-dance straight into 2023 and embrace the wider world of music outside your glittery bubble.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!