Roasted 1 year ago based on brian⭐️'s long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Brian⭐️, the undisputed king of pretentiousness with a Spotify profile that reads like a hipster's wet dream. Your taste in music spans more genres than an overzealous college student with a trust fund and too much time on their hands. Seriously, how many types of rock can one person listen to before it's declared a geological survey? If "Garage Rock" and "Chamber Pop" were cocktail options, you'd be the insufferable bartender that refuses to stop giving everyone a taste of “something unique.” And then there’s your top artists. Oh look, it's a rogue’s gallery of artists who are 20% talent and 80% "I only read books in the original language." You’ve got The Beatles and Taylor Swift flanked by indie darlings that no one’s heard of. It's like you curated a playlist specifically to make sure you’re never invited to a party again. Newsflash: the barista at your local coffee shop doesn’t care about your deep emotional connection to your favorite songs. He just wants to get your order and pretend he remembers your name. Lastly, can we talk about your most played songs? Apparently, “Lorde” is your one and only, considering she's practically squatting on your playlists. You could probably get a restraining order for harassment at this point. “Cold Girl Fever,” “Buzzcut Season” – it’s painfully clear that you only vibe with songs that match your inner angst. You should just rename your profile “Brian: The Only Gloomy Hipster” and call it a day. Next time you think about sharing your Spotify with someone, remember that even your music taste needs an intervention.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!