Roasted 2 days ago based on febuary's long term Spotify stats.

Febuary, huh? Judging by your Spotify profile, I’m assuming your favorite activity is crying while staring at your collection of imported vinyl—because clearly, your taste in music is as angsty and indecisive as a teenager convinced the world revolves around their middle school heartbreak. Seriously, you’ve given the term "emotional rollercoaster" a whole new meaning. With favorite genres ranging from Midwest Emo to Slowcore, it’s like your playlist is the soundtrack of an existential crisis, but without the irony. We get it, life is hard; do you have to make it harder with your musical choices? And let's talk about those top artists—it's a veritable who’s who of "please call my therapist" vibes. If Alex G and Mitski had a baby, it wouldn’t be a musician; it would be a manifesto on emotional turmoil. Your artist selections scream, "I’m both deeply misunderstood and incredibly unoriginal," while also crying out for a hug and maybe some better headphones. With choices like "Kiss the Ladder" and "I'll See You When We're Both Not So Emotional,” it's clear you're just here for the feels, but sweetie, music is supposed to make you *feel* alive, not prep you for the next sad poetry slam. Your most played songs? They look like a bingo card from a support group for sad kids; “Unslept” and “Crack Baby” have me questioning if your pillow is the only thing in your life that understands you. And I can’t help but wonder: do you actually enjoy these tunes, or are you just perpetually preparing for the next unfortunate life event? So, here’s a little advice: maybe throw in a few tracks that won't lead you to contemplate your existence—otherwise, you might just end up in a lo-fi indie spiral while your friends enjoy themselves at a party. You know, like normal humans do.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!