Roasted 6 months ago based on Cati Helen's long term Spotify stats.

Cati Walters, huh? A name strikingly close to "Catty Walters," which is fitting because your Spotify profile reeks of high-strung feline energy. You’ve curated a playlist that oscillates between the emotional depth of a junior high diary entry and an artistically indecisive hipster. “Art Pop” and “Baroque Pop”? Sure, nothing screams ‘I'm here for a good time and also an existential crisis’ quite like mixing genres that sound more like they belong in a pretentious art installation than on a dance floor. Then there's your top artists, a selection so curated it could only have been assembled by someone with the musical taste of a thrift store mannequin. Seriously, if I had a nickel for every time I heard “Oh, I love Taylor Swift!” I might be able to afford the therapy you so clearly need after all those sad bops. And let’s not ignore the delightful irony of "Christian Rock" pairing effortlessly with “Emo” and “Hyperpop.” It’s like you’re trying to find Jesus while simultaneously screaming about your high school heartbreak. Good luck with that, maybe He'll drop a new single for you? And finally, your most played songs should have their own warning labels. “Mouse Repellent” as a favorite? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re auditioning for the role of the world’s most chaotic pest control technician. How does one go from that to “So Long, London”? It reads like the world's saddest mixtape compilation made in between binge-watching morning talk shows. Cati, if your Spotify profile were a person, it would be the unfortunate love child of a therapy session and a kiddie pool filled with existential dread.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!