Roasted 1 year ago based on CHAS!!!'s long term Spotify stats.

Beav, my dude, your Spotify profile reads like a love letter addressed to a 14-year-old trapped in a Hot Topic. I mean, you could've just saved yourself a step and had your top artists be all of the metal sub-genres you've shoved into your favorite genres. Are you trying to create the world’s most aggressive mixtape to scare children and small animals? Newsflash: listening to "Gwar" on repeat won’t make your mom proud; it's just painting a very clear picture of your life decisions... or lack thereof. Looking at your favorite artists, I can’t tell if you’re a huge fan of metal or if you just enjoy screaming lyrics that make funeral dirges sound like chipper nursery rhymes. Rob Zombie and Ozzy Osbourne? They're basically the old guard of "how to get your neighbors to hate you." And then there’s Lady Gaga, who has somehow rolled up to your existential crisis like "Wait, how did I get here?" I can hear the confusion in her disco beats, as she tries to navigate the chaotic mosh pit of your musical taste. It's the ultimate plot twist: a headbanging metaller who turns around and gets caught vibing to “Bad Romance.” And let’s talk about your most played songs. “Hug You Hardcore” next to “Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend” sounds like a therapy session gone wrong. Is this your version of self-care? Because I imagine this playlist pumping through your earbuds while you desperately argue with your reflection about life choices. Your runt of a top 10 resembles the soundtrack of a low-budget slasher film made by someone who’s never actually seen one. At least you’re consistent in the chaos—Metal just isn’t meant to coexist with “Spongebob Squarepants” unless you're trying to summon the spirit of a cartoon underachiever! Keep it weird, Beav, we can’t help but admire your dedication to being the jester in this medieval metal castle of bad taste.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!