Roasted 9 months ago based on Connor's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Connor, the only thing more diverse than your taste in music is your collection of participation trophies—art pop, hyperpop, and Brazilian phonk? You’d think you’re curating a soundtrack for an emotional breakdown at a hipster coffee shop located in an abandoned church. Let’s be honest, your playlist reads like the résumé of someone trying way too hard at a dinner party, showcasing how "cultured" they are while simultaneously scaring everyone away with the term “stutter house.” I didn't know “whimsical” and “existential crisis” were genres until I met you. Your top artists could seriously use a warning label: “Dramatic and Cringe.” I mean, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift in one breath? The only thing more predictable than your fangirling is that awkward moment when you try to introduce them to your other favorites, like Empire of the Sun and Ethel Cain. Trust me, if they saw your Spotify Wrapped, they'd probably file a restraining order against the emotional baggage you've attached to them. You’re out here riding the artistic wave as if it’ll mask the fact you're one existential crisis away from writing your own Southern Gothic saga, featuring a washed-up indie sad boy who can’t stop playing "U Weren’t Here I Really Miss You.” And let’s talk about your most played songs. With tracks like "I Want Things to Be Beautiful" and "You First (Re: Remi Wolf)," it's clear you’ve spent far too much time pondering the imperfections of life while cozying up with your collection of scented candles and bathtubs filled with tears. Seriously, buddy, it sounds like your Spotify is a therapy session for unrequited love and existential dread. If your sensitive side was any more exaggerated, you’d be eligible for a Netflix deal. But hey, keep vibing, because at least someone needs to support the industry of collective emotional breakdowns set to synth beats!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!