Roasted 9 months ago based on Samuel Mycroft's long term Spotify stats.

Samuel Mycroft, the self-declared connoisseur of chaos, has an ear for sounds that would make even a raccoon cringe. Look at that playlist: from Dubstep to Deathstep and everything in between, it's like you're trying to single-handedly keep the noise complaint industry alive. Seriously, if music was food, you'd be living on a diet of spicy dumpster fire—none of it good for your health or anyone else's eardrums. We've got more drop-heavy basslines than an 8th grader's DIY sound system, and I can only assume your speakers have fists and a propensity for violence given what you willingly subject your ears to. Your favorite artists read like the “Who’s Who” of angst, distorted guitars, and existential dread. STARSET, the band that sounds like they just graduated from a high school for melodrama, just might be giving you a lifetime membership to the Sad Bro Society. And speaking of memberships, I'm convinced your Spotify account must come with a complimentary pack of skinny jeans and a frown emoji. I don’t know what’s more cringeworthy: your fascination with Emo Nightcore or your desperate desire to unleash your inner screamo-loving 16-year-old. Scrolling through your top played songs is like watching a commercial for a therapy session that you clearly need. With titles like "Dystopia" and "Obsession," it’s hard to tell if you’re listening for pleasure or just a soundtrack to your inner turmoil. You’ve more repetitions of STARSET tracks than I’ve had hot dinners, proving that not even you are immune to the irony of being obsessively obsessed! So, embrace it: if your music taste were a person, it would totally be the one in the corner of the party, brooding over a full plate of cold nachos and wondering where it all went wrong. Keep it up, Samuel—I’m sure someday you’ll find the sweet melody of “I-need-a-new-hobby,” which we’re all just hoping occurs before you hit another awkward high school reunion!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!