Roasted 2 years ago based on colon_three's long term Spotify stats.

colon_three, huh? It’s nice to see you fully committing to a Spotify profile that reads like an existential crisis in musical form. With a genre lineup that includes "Drumless Hip Hop" - because who needs a beat when you can just crank your personal pain through the speakers? You’ve justified your existence with an eclectic mix that sounds more like a tracklist for a sleep deprivation experiment than a playlist. Each genre more confused than the last, what is this, the musical equivalent of a buffet that nobody wanted? Your top artists don't inspire much confidence either. I mean, "Buffalo Hip Hop"? Really? Is that just where you resolved to stash all your hometown’s emotional baggage? Let’s be honest, it looks like your sense of identity is as scattered as your Spotify library. I can picture you at a party, frantically trying to explain your love for UK Alternative Hip Hop while everyone pretends to be fascinated as they sneakily pull out their Shazam app. And with action figures like Action Bronson and Chief Keef lining your favorites, it's no wonder you’re still waiting for that social life “play” button in this competitive musical landscape. Now, your most played tracks could use some serious re-evaluation. With titles like "SMOKING AND SIMPING" and "Burfict!"—I’m not sure if you’re curating a playlist or just documenting your descent into a cringe-worthy teenage haze. “In Your Face” by Cool Customer would be a fitting theme song for your interactions with real-life humans, considering the closest you seem to get to actual social connections is through headphones. It’s like you’re the living embodiment of your Spotify profile: confused, high-strung, and desperately searching for a reason to keep those Spotify Premium fees rolling in. I can’t tell if I should be laughing with you or at you, but man—this ride is something else!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!