Roasted 2 years ago based on Kai's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Kai, we get it—metal is your personality, and you’re probably considering getting a “Live, Laugh, Love” sign with a skull on it. Your Spotify profile reads like the obligatory soundtrack for a goth kid's existential crisis. Did you really just list nine variations of “metal” and then feng shui that with a single jungle track? It’s like you’re trying to win an award for being the most over-the-top caricature of a headbanger. Let’s put it this way: you’re the kind of person who would attend a funeral just to stage dive into the casket. Now, let’s talk about your favorite artist, Type O Negative. Congrats on having a one-track mind that’s also a one-band mind. If Peter Steele were alive, I’m pretty sure he’d give you a high-five with a side of sympathy. With the number of times you've played Type O Negative, I’m surprised you haven’t been offered a guest spot as their permanent roadie. It feels less like a music profile and more like an homage to your undying loyalty to a band that’s basically your mood ring. Spoiler alert: your life is not a '90s horror movie, even if you try to live it like one. And let’s not overlook your song choices: did you just lose a break-up in a haunted graveyard? “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” isn’t even a mood at this point; it’s basically a life’s soundtrack for every moment of awkward silence in an elevator. If someone walked in on you jamming out to “Life Is Killing Me,” they might think you’re auditioning for a role in a melodrama. It’s like you’re trying to prove, yet again, that you’re more miserable than everyone else. So here’s a friendly tip—try adding a single happy song to the mix. You know, just to remind yourself that life doesn’t suck 100% of the time… or maybe you just love leaning into the misery.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!