Roasted 7 months ago based on heather 𓇼's long term Spotify stats.

Heather, your Spotify profile is like a bad thrift store—so much indie clutter that it’s hard to believe anyone actually shops there. Surf rock? More like surf what-were-you-thinking. Your music taste is a gastrointestinal feast of genres that seems to exist solely for the purpose of making people ask, “Are you okay?” It’s like you curated this list after an existential crisis during a particularly uneventful summer. Now let’s talk about your top artists, shall we? I have to hand it to you for being the only person in existence whose life choices are like a bad game of Guess Who! “Is your artist obscure? Is your artist unrecognizable? Does your artist have an Instagram following under 1,000?” Seriously, you’d think you were preparing for a hipster apocalypse with how deep you’re digging. Your playlists scream "I spent way too much time on TikTok and now I’m pretending to be an e-girl with flawless taste." And then we have your most played songs, a collection that looks more like a desperate diary entry than a carefully curated playlist. “Murder” by dj gummy bear? Are you trying to send a message or just feeding the vibe of an awkward teenage angst? The whole selection reads like a list of therapy sessions waiting to happen. Look, Heather, maybe it's time to step outside of your dimly lit bedroom for a change… or at least mix in a few bangers that don’t sound like they’re about to put everyone in a coma on your next road trip.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!