Roasted 2 years ago based on lauren's long term Spotify stats.

Lauren, your profile screams "I peaked in high school and never left the cafeteria." With genres ranging from Show Tunes to Hollywood, it’s unclear if you’re trying to impress the drama club or escape your own mediocrity. You know you can pick one lane, right? Instead, it looks like your Spotify is just a messy playlist of emotional breakdowns hearing "Love Story" on repeat while contemplating your existential crisis because the only thing left to give is your TikTok dance moves. Your top artists reveal a desperate cry for validation, starring chart-toppers Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran leading a parade of self-pity. Honestly, if you love them so much, how about you just move into their basements instead of spinning your wheels in that on-repeat hell? With Maisie Peters and Pentatonix in tow, your musical choices are the equivalent of a midlife crisis in your 20s. You say "rock," but let's be real—it’s just pop with a cat-eye that can't decide if it wants to slay or stay in. And don’t even get me started on your most played songs. "You'll Be Back" should be your anthem because at this point, your taste proves that you are, indeed, back. "Paper Rings"? Please, darling, you’re more of a plastic bracelet kind of girl. Every time you play "Someone Gets Hurt," I’m convinced it’s about the time you tried to hit the high notes and scared the local wildlife. So here’s a tip: find some actual rock to blast rather than your Broadway fantasies, or brace yourself for a life spent auditioning for the role of "basic."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!