Roasted 17 days ago based on Alisha's long term Spotify stats.

Alisha, your Spotify profile is a delightful mess of musical indecision. Seriously, the only thing wider than your 'favorite genres' list is the gap in your taste. Between 'Yacht Rock' and 'Glam Rock,' it’s like you’re trying to build a playlist for a midlife crisis happening on a cruise ship. Your Spotify page reads like a treasure map for tourists—lots of varied attractions, but good luck digging up anything of substance. You claim to love “Rock,” yet you’ve included so many variations, I wonder if you just hit random on the genre wheel and prayed for the best. Now let's talk about your top artists. You’ve got a collection that screams “I have commitment issues.” I mean, what’s next? A playlist featuring the top 10 ‘One Hit Wonders’ of the 2000s? The inclusion of ABBA alongside Guns N' Roses is a unique flex, I suppose, but it honestly sounds like your iPod had an identity crisis while living in a thrift store. And don’t even get me started on John Powell—that’s a bold choice to feature a film composer in a genre battle against rock legends. Why not add the full orchestration of popcorn-making while you’re at it? As for your most played songs, I can practically hear the existential crisis echoing through your late-night jam sessions. “This Is Berk” by John Powell? Really? That’s the number one song? I didn’t know you were trying to impress the dragons from a kids’ movie. And let’s be real, you playing “Washing Machine Heart” on repeat is most likely metaphorical for the state of your own love life. Your play history reads like a list of songs to cry to while binge-watching “The Office.” Honestly, your entire listening experience feels like an unfinished puzzle—lots of pieces, but no picture in sight.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!