Roasted 2 years ago based on Katie Parker's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Katie Parker, when you said your Spotify profile is a "vibe," I didn't realize you meant a mid-2010s college dorm room that's perpetually dim and filled with the echoing cries of breakups. Your playlist reads like a therapy session with a barista who just finished reading “Men Explain Things to Me.” I mean, come on, “Indie Poptimism”? That just sounds like the title of a self-help book that nobody asked for and everyone promptly ignores—kind of like your Spotify discovery algorithm. Your top artists are practically a playlist of sad girl anthems and melancholic melodies that make me question if you’re training for a sympathy Olympics. Seriously, with Mitski, Phoebe Bridgers, and Halsey crammed into your favorites, I half expect your Spotify Wrapped to deliver a personal apology letter for your emotional instability. And let’s talk about "Electropop." Do you even know what electropop is? Spoiler alert: it’s not the soundtrack to your existential crisis—it’s not supposed to be that deep, and yet here you are, swimming in the shallow end of the emotional pool like it’s the new Olympic sport. And those most played songs… Wow, talk about a vibe killer! "It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)" by The 1975 really showcases your dating history—clearly, you’ve taken a big swing at living life in the most tragic sitcom imaginable. What’s next? A full-blown emotional meltdown to the tune of "I Bet on Losing Dogs"? You might as well change your username to “Sad Katie” because at this rate, you’re single-handedly keeping the indie-pop depression pop alive and well. Honestly, I bet your Spotify Wrapped is just a collection of sad songs and meme-worthy moments. You really need to lighten up before you start channeling your emotions into a series of somber watercolor paintings that nobody will want to hang up.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!