Roasted 2 years ago based on Brandon's long term Spotify stats.

Brandon, your Spotify profile is the musical equivalent of a five-year-old's finger painting: ambitious, colorful, but ultimately a chaotic mess that no one understands. "Modern Rock" and "POV: Indie"? Really? Are you trying to confuse your listeners with genres that sound more like your high school diary entries? And let’s be honest, you’ve got more “Cage The Elephant” on repeat than personality in your playlist—if I wanted to hear someone scream about their existential crisis, I'd just call my therapist. Your top artists scream, "I couldn't decide between throwing a house party or going through a quarter-life crisis." With the likes of Daft Punk and Rammstein jostling for space alongside Imagine Dragons—it’s like your mood swings have a Spotify account! "Permanent Wave"? Is that a genre or just the state of your hair after a blowout gone wrong? It’s as if your taste in music is a poorly executed BuzzFeed quiz: “Which half-baked music catalog are you today?” And let's dive into your most played tracks. Seriously, it’s like watching someone binge the same episode of a sitcom for three seasons straight. Cage The Elephant called, they want their identity crisis back. At this point, you might as well change your name to "Brandon And The Cage" because you’re really locked in there, buddy. If this is your idea of diversification, we might as well get you a T-shirt that says "I have commitment issues, even with my music."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!