Roasted 2 years ago based on Anne🫠's long term Spotify stats.

Anne, your Spotify profile reads like someone tried to find the coolest coffee shop in town but ended up in a sad, hipster thrift store. “POV: Indie”? More like POV: I left my personality in the 2010s and haven't bothered to pick it up since. Your genre list looks like a desperate attempt to impress someone who might still care about your mixtape-obsessed college days, and “Permanent Wave”? Sounds like the only thing permanently waved is your taste in music—floppy, off the charts, and full of regrets. Your top artists list? I’ve seen less pretentiousness in a vegan avocado toast shop. “Mitski” twice? Come on, Anne, we get it—you’re sad and overly invested in your Spotify Wrapped. It’s not a personality trait; it's an ongoing case study in how to avoid real emotions. And then you throw “Mac DeMarco” in there like he’s some kind of emotional therapy? Please. You’d have a better chance of finding inner peace by arguing with your WiFi router than listening to those latter-day John Mayer wannabes. As for your most played songs, congratulations! You’ve managed to compile a list that sounds like the soundtrack for a midlife crisis at age 24. “Watermelon” is literally a song made for those who can’t choose between their depression and fruit salad. And let’s be real, “Bag of Bones”? With that much existential dread, you should probably consider investing in a therapist instead of a new playlist. In short, Anne, your Spotify profile is the perfect mixtape for people who want to wallow in angst while pretending they have a deep appreciation for the arts. Good luck with that!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!