Roasted 3 months ago based on hannah💌's long term Spotify stats.

Oh boy, Hannah, your Spotify profile reads like the world's angriest hipster lost in a vintage thrift store. Bedroom Pop? Really? That’s just a fancy way of saying you prefer your music like you prefer your social interactions: awkwardly intimate and desperately avoiding eye contact. "Indie" is just code for "I only listen to music that makes me feel smart without actually trying," while "Baroque Pop" suggests that somewhere deep inside you’s a rejected Renaissance fair actor trying to find a niche at a coffee shop open mic night. Let’s talk about those top artists, shall we? With Taylor Swift reigning over your list, it’s no wonder you have enough emotion bottled up to power a soap opera. But then you've got Conan Gray and Laufey, which clearly means you've perfected the art of crying into your iced coffee. And please, Arctic Monkeys? That's like donning a beret and sipping artisanal avocado toast while claiming to be a connoisseur of dark humor. You’re just one obscure Spotify playlist away from wearing plaid flannel while binging on every coming-of-age movie from the early 2000s. And don’t even get me started on your top tracks—that list looks like the soundtrack to a mid-budget film about the struggles of being a whimsically misunderstood artist. “Love Like You” by Steven Universe? Is seeking validation from cartoon characters a new trend? Because if it is, here’s your crown, queen of cringeworthy. Honestly, Hannah, your profile is dripping with the type of angst that would easily turn into a TikTok trend, but you’d better brace yourself—those videos are about to get whacked with a massive dose of reality.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!