Roasted 4 months ago based on Jordy's long term Spotify stats.

Jordy’s Spotify profile reads like a pretentious coffee shop’s playlist got a PhD in artsy nonsense. “Southern Gothic”? Is that like “I’m a sad cowpoke with a thesaurus”? I mean, I guess we should applaud you for your eclectic taste, but it feels less like a carefully curated selection and more like you just loaded up your Spotify with everything from post-apocalyptic folk to songs you found on an abandoned mixtape. Your music choices hint at a heart yearning for deep emotional connections, yet if someone actually joins you for a jam session, I fear they’ll need a therapist on speed dial. And let's talk about your top artists. “Murder By Death” and “Glass Animals”—I see you really have a theme going here: potential bodily harm followed by existential ennui. Congratulations, you found the most tortured artists on earth! If you had to take a shot for every time you’ve explained how "the complexity of modern existence" is best expressed through obscure tracks, you’d be too far gone to bother with explanations. And, really, if Lady Gaga is the wild card in your lineup, is it safe to assume you still think it’s 2010 and live for that “Born This Way” bubble? But oh, the crowning achievement: your most played songs are practically a “Who’s Who” of underground sadness and digital cringe. “LOVELY BASTARDS”? That sounds like what you call your friends after too many rounds of indie trivia. And "Cage The Elephant"? I hope you know that just because they have "elephant" in the name doesn’t mean it's a good idea to listen to them while you’re deep-frying your existential crises. Let's face it, your Spotify profile is less "musical journey" and more "trip to a thrift store where you just bought a collection of sins."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!