Roasted 11 days ago based on Totally Not Hannah's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Totally Not Hannah, the walking Spotify algorithm! With a music taste as eclectic as your high school drama club's playlist, it’s clear your sense of discovery peaked somewhere between K-Pop choreography tutorials and indie mixtapes you only listen to when you're trying to impress someone. Seriously, you have more genres than a hipster cafe has types of oat milk, but I’m half convinced you’re just trying to compensate for the fact that you haven’t wiped away the last remnants of your middle school emo phase. Your top artists could be mistaken for the lineup of a festival that aims to confuse the hell out of anyone who doesn’t have a degree in hipster jargon. SEVENTEEN and Lana Del Rey? Are you trying to start a K-Pop musical about existential dread? And let’s talk about that "Noise Music" obsession—it sounds less like an aesthetic choice and more like a cry for help over an unmade bed. I can only imagine your playlists are a chaotic mix of heartfelt lyrics and noise so intense it could wake the ghosts of dead music majors who thought they'd escaped. And your most played songs? Wow, “Lovers Rock” and “Sweater Weather,” really digging deep into the emotional angst of teenage angst, I see. It's like you want to have an existential crisis but want it wrapped in cozy blankets and soft lighting. But hey, keep streaming your moody anthems while sipping your pumpkin spice latte in a dimly lit room. Just remember: it’s not your playlist that’s the problem; it’s you trying so hard to be relatable in a world where everyone wishes they could just skip to your next "deep" thought on why “Mr. Loverman” is the peak of romantic tragedy. Get it together, Hannah!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!