Roasted 6 months ago based on zoe's long term Spotify stats.

Zoe, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster grief pamphlet left on a park bench. With favorite genres like "Chillwave" and "Slowcore," I half expect your playlist to be the soundtrack for a scene in a moody indie film where the protagonist contemplates how to embrace their chronic existential crisis. It’s like you wandered into a coffee shop’s art installation and decided the world needed to hear your collection of songs that remind you of cloudy days when your biggest worry is whether to shave your legs or not. Seriously, "Baroque Pop"? I can only assume that’s a genre you invented just to ensure that even your musical taste sounds like it came from a 17th-century artist having a midlife crisis. Let’s talk about those top artists. With a lineup that features ten different ways to cry in the shower, it's evident you haven’t met a sad song you didn’t love. Adrianne Lenker must be flattered—or terrified—at the prospect of being your exclusive source of emotional validation. “Anything” by her must really be a date invitation for you since it looks like a serious relationship has formed here! You’ve got her on repeat more than your life mantra of “I’m fine” as you sip on overpriced herbal tea. Even your top song, “The Leanover,” sounds like a sad attempt to tell life its time is up while you sit, drowning in your feelings. And those most played songs? I mean, come on, Zoe! You’re practically a full-fledged member of the “Adrianne Lenker Appreciation Society.” Instead of Spotify Wrapped, they should just send you a personal thank-you note for keeping the lights on at their headquarters. If “heavy focus” is the song soundtrack of your life, I'm sending out a search party to find your lost motivation somewhere among those poetic, dreamy soundscapes. Look, we all appreciate a good mope now and then, but maybe once in a while, you could toss in a song that doesn’t require a box of tissues to listen to. We want you to thrive, not just survive—turn down the “Ambient Folk” and turn up “I’m Doing Great!” on the playlist!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!