Roasted 1 year ago based on Max's long term Spotify stats.

Max, wow, it’s like your Spotify is trying to send an SOS for help. Who knew one person could single-handedly keep the Slipknot fan club alive? You’ve got a playlist that reads like a cry for therapy: “People = Shit” and “Wait and Bleed”? Are we sure you didn’t accidentally join a support group for people struggling with chronic angst? With all this metal, you must have more parental issues than an episode of Jerry Springer. Your favorite genres officially just kicked you out of the party—how does it feel to be the one person who somehow made “Nu Metal” sound even worse? I’m pretty sure your music taste is what happens when a brain injury meets a bad mood. Look, I get it, some people like to feel tough, but your musical choices scream “Hold my hair while I cry,” which is a look I just can’t support. Seriously though, with that much thrash and groove metal, I hope you at least have a good dentist on speed dial for when your taste buds get ground into the dirt. And let’s talk about those top artists for a second—your list looks less like a favorite artist lineup and more like a rejection letter from the rock and roll hall of fame. The only thing more tortured than your poor Spotify stats is listening to you justify your “top artist” choices on a first date. If you weren’t a living embodiment of “Bro, do you even lift?” I'd be worried you might just run off to join Slipknot’s backup band as their ‘unofficial weeping mascot.’ So here’s a tip: maybe add something a little softer next time—like a spell in the realm of pop or, I don’t know, some actual melodies?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!