Roasted 2 years ago based on lauren's long term Spotify stats.

Lauren, your Spotify profile reads like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis at a suburban backyard barbecue. Between the "Mellow Gold" and "Soft Rock," it’s clear you've got two goals: to avoid any sort of excitement in your life and to ensure that every family gathering has the emotional depth of a kiddie pool. I mean, come on, “Psychedelic Rock”? The only thing starting to trip is the enthusiasm of your taste in tunes. Your top artists list is all over the place—kind of like one of your awkward family photos where everyone’s trying too hard to look cool. Taylor Swift and Frank Sinatra? Are you planning a musical homicide or just realizing that your iPod is older than half the artists you like? And “THE DRIVER ERA”? Really, Lauren? Are you hoping they will magically transport you out of those pastel sweaters and into a time capsule where this playlist actually makes sense? And those most played songs—“Can You Keep a Secret” from a Barbie movie? Who does that? That’s a validation cry for anyone that doubted you spent too much time playing with dolls in your late twenties. “Moon River”? It’s ironic that we’d all drown listening to this mellow nonsense while waiting for you to choose which flavor of vanilla is the best. But really, Lauren, you keep that sad ‘adult standards’ flag flying high. Just remember, when you start taking musical advice from ‘Barbie,’ it might be time to call a life coach—preferably one who specializes in 2010s pop nostalgia.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!