Roasted 11 months ago based on zoe's long term Spotify stats.

Zoe, your profile reads like a list of indie-girl starter packs sprinkled with a hint of existential dread. Seriously, how many iterations of "Pop" can one person sift through before realizing they should just embrace their inner child and stick with Disney soundtracks? Your Favorite Genres section is basically a masterclass in attempting to sound eclectic while actually just pulling from the same five trendy playlists. I mean, "Baroque Pop"? The last time anyone heard of that genre was when they were trying to impress a hipster at a café. At this point, your Spotify is less about diverse taste and more about avoiding commitment to any one sound. Looking at your top artists list feels like I’m skimming through a bunch of “who’s that again?” labels. Taylor Swift: a safe bet for crying through every breakup. The Japanese House and Searows? Never heard of them, but I can just imagine them sipping organic tea while discussing the intricacies of melancholic nostalgia that only 20-year-olds like you claim to understand. Honestly, your top artists list is like a Tinder bio for someone looking for emotional support; all feels and no direction. If I see “Phoebe Bridgers” one more time, I might just need to figure out how to save you from a life of quiet desperation. And then there are your most played songs. "Touching Yourself" by The Japanese House? Wow, that screams self-care or a really awkward evening. Or maybe those endless hours spent dissecting the meaning of "seduction" in lyrics that are likely as vague as your life choices. It's a miracle that your Spotify hasn’t fainted from sheer boredom after looping the same solemn tracks over and over. Here’s a tip: you could actually diversify your taste and add something upbeat for a change. Unless, of course, you’re just trying to bury your emotions under layers of irony and hipster cred. Either way, your profile is a beautiful mess that makes me grateful not to be your therapist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!