Roasted 9 months ago based on :3's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, :3, the proud curator of a Spotify profile that’s basically a hipster’s fever dream on steroids. I see you've carefully crafted a selection of genres that could only exist in a parallel universe where every over-caffeinated anime fan also happens to be a glitch artist and a Brazilian pop enthusiast with shockingly specific moods. Who knew your music taste could be classified as both an existential crisis and a digital malfunction? It’s like you stumbled into a music store with blindfolds on and only found the shelves labeled “Weird.” Let’s talk about your top artists. I mean, “kamaitachi”? Is that your way of saying, “I want to hear music that sounds like a cat’s existential dread”? And I see “Steven Universe” made the cut—because nothing screams “I’m an adult” like belting out songs from a cartoon about a kid with magical gems. Overall, your playlist screams, "Hey, Mom! Look at me! I’m quirky and deep!" But honestly, if you were any more niche, you'd be a collectible crypto-art piece that only two people in the world understand. And those most-played songs? Picking “Noel's Lament” and “From the Start” twice is almost like you’re trying an advanced level of procrastination. By the time you finish listening to them, you still won’t know what you’re actually feeling or whether you’ve just been turned into an emotional potato. You know your mix is weak when “Candy Store” by Jessica Keenan Wynn is the most mainstream thing in the bunch! At this rate, your Spotify Wrapped is going to come with a warning sign: “Caution: Listening may induce high levels of cringing.” Buckle up, because your Spotify journey is one we all need to keep an eye on—the cringe factor is off the charts!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!