Roasted 28 days ago based on Kevin's long term Spotify stats.

Kevin, your Spotify profile reads like a mid-life crisis on shuffle. I mean, what kind of musical identity crisis leads you to list "Soundtrack" and "Japanese VGM" right next to "Motown" and "Classic Soul"? It’s like if someone tried to make a sushi roll with fried chicken and gummy bears – you might call it unique, but we all know it’s just a disaster with a side of confusion. You might have the most eclectic taste imaginable, but this smorgasbord of genres isn’t a playlist; it’s a cry for help. Your top artists are a riot too! You have Marvin Gaye representing classic love, and then somehow, you feel the need to balance that with the haunting melodies of Nobuo Uematsu. What’s next? A collaboration between Hans Zimmer and One Direction? Your eclectic mix screams, “I can’t decide on a theme, but I’m definitely going to catch feelings hoping a soundtrack leads me to my one true love!” And I have to say, if your playlist was a movie, it’d be a poorly rated rom-com that no one asked for but is somehow trending on Netflix. Then there’s "Sleep Better Pink Noise" by Calm Meditation Therapy topping your most played songs list. So, are we to assume the highlight of your week was bedtime? It’s like your playlist is a journey from “wake up with the soothing sounds of sleep” to “crying into my coffee while listening to Fleetwood Mac.” But hey, at least you’ve got that classic “Dracula Castle” track to carry you through those emotionally turbulent moments. With your taste, you’ve proven once and for all that it’s possible to wear your heart on your sleeve while simultaneously wearing socks with sandals. Bravo, Kevin!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!