Roasted 2 months ago based on Alex's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Alex, let’s take a trip down your musical rabbit hole where teenage angst and questionable fashion choices reign supreme. Do you have a “Paramore” shrine in your bedroom, or is it just reflected in your playlist? You’ve got more Paramore songs than actual emotional experiences in your life, which is impressive. At this point, I'm convinced your Spotify account is basically a love letter to Hayley Williams—and we all know it’s a one-sided romance. Honestly, your top artists list reads like a middle school diary entry, and I’m almost surprised you haven’t changed your name to Paramore. Let’s talk genres for a moment. You’ve listed everything from "Glam Metal" to "Punk," which makes me wonder if you've ever heard of the concept of balance. You’re basically the musical equivalent of a kid who insists on wearing black nail polish while also rocking a glittery tutu. What’s next? A mash-up of all your favorite styles into an auditory train wreck? “Classic Emo-Pop Hard Metal Punk Glam Rock”? Don’t worry, Alex, there’s no need for you to allow your personality to change. The world isn’t ready for that level of confusion, and quite frankly, neither are we. And then we have your most played songs, aka the soundtrack to your life's emotional breakdowns. Congratulations, you’ve managed to cycle through the same eight Paramore tracks like a DJ at a high school prom who only has one CD. “Be Alone” and “Misery Business” in heavy rotation? I get it, Alex, clearly you’re a connoisseur of angst—but when your Spotify Wrapped starts to look like a therapy session, it might be time to expand those horizons beyond one band. Embrace the chaos of variety! Otherwise, you might just find yourself vibing alone in the corner of a concert that only exists in your imagination.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!