Roasted 1 year ago based on ‎'s long term Spotify stats.

Will Tostito, huh? With a name like that, it's no wonder your Spotify profile reads like a hipster’s wet dream, complete with more genres than actual listeners. Seriously, Midwest Emo and Latin Rock? You’re basically trying to be the soundtrack to a mid-life crisis at 23. “Alternative Rock” should just be retitled “I’m too indecisive for a real personality.” If you were any more “indie,” you’d be a forgotten band playing in the back room of a coffee shop, hoping for a single clap from an unimpressed barista. Your top artists could either be the soundtrack to a rom-com or an existential crisis, and I can’t tell which one you’re going for. Between Radiohead and Bo Burnham, are you trying to laugh through the pain or just sob under your piles of accumulated angst? And let’s talk about your obsession with Car Seat Headrest—if their songs were a person, they’d be that one friend who only talks about their feelings and never shuts up. You've got more Car Seat Headrest on your playlist than they have actual fans! Do you vibe with them on a spiritual level, or are you just trying to be their number one follower? Don't even get me started on your most played songs. “I Want You to Know That I'm Awake/i Hope That You're Asleep”? I get it; you’re self-aware! If only the rest of us could be as courageous in our musical mediocrity. You’ve curated a collection of tunes that scream, “I’m trying to impress someone who definitely swipes left on me.” So here’s to you, Will Tostito—master of the instantly forgettable indie playlist and certified connoisseur of heartbreaks you’ve clearly never had yourself! Cheers to your unmistakable originality in a world bursting with blandness.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!