Roasted 2 months ago based on Clyde>:3's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Clyde>:3, with a Spotify profile like yours, it's hard to decide whether you're trying to start a metal band or auditioning for a gothic coffee shop. You’ve got so many sub-genres in your favorite list, it's like you threw a dart at a genre wheel and just went with whatever stickiness it landed on. "Djent" and "Nu Metal"? You must be the only person on earth who thinks "screaming" and "whining" are equally valid forms of artistic expression. Your music tastes could be a Tinder bio for the angsty teenager who just discovered life isn’t all about dark eyeliner and brooding Spotify playlists. And speaking of wild contradictions, how does Vangelis fit into this head-banging lineup? One minute you're blasting "Blade Runner Blues" like you're contemplating the meaning of existence, and the next, you're headbanging to "Join Me In Death." Talk about a mood swing! You should clarify on your profile if you’re looking for a date or just trying to recruit people for a horror film. Between all that angst and existential crisis, I can almost hear your neighbors questioning if you're summoning demons from your basement or just struggling with the recent breakup over some goth ballad. Now let's talk about your most played songs—where "Life Eternal" sits next to a Calvin Harris track. That mix-up alone is more chaotic than an afterparty at a funeral home. Is your playlist a soundtrack to your therapy sessions or just a cry for help wrapped in a leather jacket? And let’s not forget that while you’re jamming to “Swap Places” by “ThxSoMch”, your love life is more unplayable than a vinyl record with a gaping scratch. Step it up, Clyde>:3! At this rate, your Spotify should be called a "sad ballad of confusion" instead.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!