Roasted 8 months ago based on Slapshott's long term Spotify stats.

So, Slapshott, your Spotify profile reads like a high school kid's diary who just discovered emo while trying to escape their overly cheerful suburban life. Pop Punk, Emo, and a sprinkle of J-Pop? What are you trying to do, start a band for all the sad weebs in the world? I mean, if cereal came with a sappy soundtrack, you'd be the lead singer. It's like you took "mixing genres" to mean "throwing a bunch of childhood traumas together and seeing what sticks." A veritable buffet of melodrama and angst, and yet, still all served with a side of bubble gum. And could we talk about your top artist lineup? Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Taylor Swift—back to back, no less. Talk about a love triangle that needs serious therapy! You're like the emotional equivalent of a Starbucks order that takes 20 minutes to say out loud—way too much going on, but hey, at least you’re caffeinated with angst! If only your taste in artists was as refined as your obsession with James Marriott—it's almost as if you’ve confused Spotify for a James Marriott shrine. You’ve got enough loyalty to one artist to fill a fan club, but we all know the real reason you keep replaying their songs: it’s a coping mechanism for those high school dance moves that never quite landed. And don’t get me started on your most played songs. “I Don’t Want To Live Like This”? Buddy, you’ve got to stop using Spotify as your therapy sessions! It’s a wonder anyone out there plays any songs other than James Marriott; I'm half-expecting your next playlist name to be "Songs For Every Midlife Crisis." You’re basically one sad ballad away from being the soundtrack to every rom-com that forgets to include the romance. Let's hope your next guilty pleasure gets you through those dark times without needing to write a manifesto about it, or else we’re gonna have to form a support group just to handle your emo energy.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!