Roasted 2 months ago based on abigailgl's long term Spotify stats.

Abigail, we get it—your taste in music is so obscure that it practically comes with a treasure map. “Slowcore” and “Anti-Folk”? Honey, with those genres, you must be living in a perpetual state of existential dread. Let’s be real, you’re probably the person everyone avoids at parties because you want to talk about the “emotional nuances” of the latest Sufjan Stevens’ album while everyone else is trying to survive the awkward silence. Your Spotify playlist is a perfect blend of sadness and hipster pretension that makes me wonder if you even know what happiness sounds like. And your top artists read like a “Who’s Who” of people I’ve never heard of. I don’t know what’s more tragic: your obsession with “Baroque Pop” or the fact that “Taylor Swift” is the only mainstream artist here, standing out like a sore thumb in a snowstorm. I mean, even your top tracks sound like rejected titles from a melancholic poetry slam. “Easter Pink”? “Eye On The Bat”? With song titles like that, it’s no wonder you spend your nights wearing knitted sweaters and sipping herbal tea, pondering whether the world even deserves to know your deep, deep thoughts. Let’s talk about your most played songs. Seriously, Akimbo4s and “it was a hot day so I recorded with the fan on”? That sounds less like a song and more like a TikTok challenge gone wrong! Do you get points for obscure references, or are you just trying to be the underground music scene’s secret admirer? Your musical palette is so niche that it might as well come with a pair of ironic glasses and a flannel shirt as a starter pack. So here’s to you, Abigail—the true queen of embracing the emo-stylish vibe while the rest of us just want to dance.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!