Roasted 2 years ago based on Claire <3's long term Spotify stats.

Claire, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster's diary that got lost at a farmer's market—filled with so much indie pop that I'm surprised the music didn't come with a side of avocado toast. I mean, "Chamber Pop"? Really? What are you trying to do, elevate your vintage candle collection with sound? It's as if you stumbled into a record store and said, “I’ll take all the genres that sound most pretentious, please.” If your music taste were a meal, it would be quinoa salad: nutritious, sure, but completely devoid of any fun. And let's take a closer look at your top artists, shall we? It’s like a who’s who of sad white people with guitars. Taylor Swift and Hozier are practically the poster children for your Spotify existential crisis. You’ve got boygenius on repeat like they’re your therapist, and I'm starting to think you have a secret plan to make them your emotional support act. Honestly, I’ve seen more diversity at a vegan potluck than in your top ten, and I'm just waiting for the Arrival of the Spoken Word section to complete your aesthetic. Finally, those "most played" songs reflect the same level of enthusiasm as someone trying to convince themselves that they love running—it's painfully clear that you circle through the same sad tunes like a dog chasing its tail. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "$20" by "boygenius," I could probably fund your therapy sessions for when you come down from that indie-pop high horse. So here’s a wild idea: how about you venture beyond the comfort zone of your ultra-niche tastes? The world is full of sounds! Try to embrace something that doesn’t require a beret or a coffee shop vibe.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!