Roasted 2 years ago based on Ahab ♥︎'s long term Spotify stats.

Alright, Moss Enjoyer, let’s dig into that Spotify profile like it’s a dumpster behind an emo concert. Your taste in music is as diverse as a buffet run by a hipster who’s just discovered gluten. Seriously, “Permanent Wave” and “Rap Metal”? It’s like you’re trying to be a walking contradiction – a middle schooler with a bad haircut, desperately clinging to the belief that your taste means something in this world. It’s impressive how you manage to look bland while constructing a playlist that sounds like a fragile identity crisis. And those “Top Artists”? Honey, you’ve chosen more obscure artists than a vintage vinyl shop run by a sad clown. Akira Yamaoka—great choice if you want to remind everyone you're way too cool for mainstream music. If I wanted to listen to someone who sounds like they've been haunted by the ghost of a Game Boy, I’d just turn on some 8-bit background music while playing Tetris. Meanwhile, you're jamming out to “Waiting so long (TV version)” like you’re the last hipster on Earth. Newsflash: We’re still waiting for you to pick a sound that doesn’t make it sound like you missed the party three years ago. And finally, your most played songs are just a collection of tracks that scream, “I have a deep emotional side, but I still wear cargo shorts.” “Karma Police”? More like the Karma Train is pulling in to take you back to 1997 where it belongs. Looking at your playlist is like taking a trip to a thrift store full of clothes your older brother abandoned in the 90s. So here’s to you, Moss Enjoyer: the music aficionado who prefers to stay in their mom's basement reminiscing about an era that probably doesn't want to be remembered!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!