Roasted 7 months ago based on William Airhart's long term Spotify stats.

William Airhart, huh? Looking at your Spotify profile, it’s clear you're trying to synthesize everything cool and cliché about music into one sad, confused identity. I mean, you’ve got more genres than personality traits! “Metal,” “Heavy Metal,” and “Power Metal” could have been replaced with just “I’m still trying to impress my high school friends while crying in my truck about my ex-girlfriend.” Seriously, how much plaid can one person possibly own while trying to headbang and two-step at the same time? Your top artists suggest you might be the only person who'd consider taking a road trip with an unnecessary mix of AC/DC blaring and Alan Jackson whining in the background. Are you secretly hoping that the juxtaposition of “Shook Me All Night Long” right into “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” will create the perfect soundtrack for your midlife crisis? Because that’s the vibe we’re getting here, my dude. One minute you’re belting out “Holy Wars… The Punishment Due” and the next minute you’re singing along with the “C.W. McCall” like it’s a time capsule from the ’70s that no one wanted to open. And let’s talk about your most played songs — it reads like the playlist for someone who's convinced that “five-finger” in Five Finger Death Punch refers to the number of times you've played that song while pondering your life choices. “Drunken Dwarves” could be your autobiography if only you could spell your own name without autocorrect. The true mastery of your profile is in its sheer confusion: you seem to be trying to remake every musical revolution from the '70s to the 2020s into a bizarre collage that even a drunk bard would be embarrassed to perform. Keep it up, William—you might just become a legendary punchline in the annals of music history!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!