Roasted 2 years ago based on anorak.ascended's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, anorak.ascended, the epitome of musical indecisiveness! Your genre list is a bizarre buffet of sounds that no one in their right mind would ever mix. I mean, "Neo Mellow" and "Lilith" back-to-back? It's like you tried to create a soundtrack for a hipster coffee shop that doubles as a therapy session. The only thing you're missing is a comforting wool blanket and a mug of artisanal oat milk latte, because your taste is as cozy as an overstuffed armchair nobody wants to sit in. And Taylor Swift at the top of your artist list? That's a real plot twist right there—are you trying to meet your emotional needs or audition for a role in a rom-com? Because with your eclectic mix of artists, it looks like you’re either planning to write a heartfelt ballad about the heartbreak of ordering the wrong kind of oat milk or you simply can’t decide if you’re a pop princess or an avant-garde folk troubadour. Spoiler alert: you’re neither, but kudos for trying to recreate the musical equivalent of a Christmas sweater party gone wrong! Then we have your most played songs, which honestly look like the results of a musical guessing game. You’ve got the Wellermen, who could make a sea shanty out of a dental appointment, and then somehow end up with “Weird Al.” What is this? A playlist for a midlife crisis? It’s like the soundtrack to an existential crisis—one second you're sobbing to Brandi Carlile, and the next you’re cackling along with "Weird Al." It’s impressive, really. Only you could manage to evoke both tears and laughter in one 45-minute listening session. If Spotify ever needed a case study on musical confusion, congratulations, you've just become their poster child.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!