Roasted 3 months ago based on Chloe's long term Spotify stats.

Chloe, your Spotify profile is like a bad fashion choice that makes us question if you’re time-traveling from the '90s or just have an obsession with obscure genres that no one has heard of since dial-up internet was a thing. "Witch House"? Really? I see you’re on a quest to summon some musical demons instead of listening to anything remotely popular. You probably think "Black Sabbath" sounds like a trendy new candle scent, and who knew "Brazilian Phonk" was a thing until you showed us? Your playlist reads like a crossword puzzle that nobody asked to solve. Let’s talk about those top artists. It’s like you rounded up the most tortured souls of the music world and made them your personal emotional support group. Listening to Lana Del Rey, Kid Cudi, and Crystal Castles all in one sitting is quite the combo—it's like a toxic relationship and a therapy session on repeat! I half-expect to see “crying in a vintage thrift store” as a genre under your name. And that moment when Nirvana and Electroclash collide? You’re the only one who’d consider that a match made in heaven. I’ve seen less awkwardness at a middle school dance. As for your most-played songs, it’s clear you embrace sadness like it’s a comforting hug from an ex you know you shouldn’t contact. “Rocket Man” and “Save a Prayer” are for real-life moments; yours are more like the soundtrack to existential dread on a Sunday afternoon. “Army Dreamers in 29edo”? I can’t tell if you’re trying to impress us with your obscure tastes or just hit random shuffle a few too many times. But hey, at least your eclectic mix means you’re impossible to categorize—just like a bad high school yearbook photo. Keep owning that confusion, Chloe; it’s a look only you can pull off!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!