Roasted 2 months ago based on Adam's long term Spotify stats.

Adam, your Spotify profile is like that one friend who says they're “into fitness” but only means shoving their fit body into tight jeans on Taco Tuesday. Seriously, with a favorite genre list that says “rock” a whopping nine times, it's like you’re trying to win the ‘Most Monotonous Music Taste’ award. If I had a nickel for every “rock” you mentioned, I’d have enough to buy you a new playlist—all you need to do is click “shuffle” on something *not* from the ‘70s for a change. And the top artists? What is this, a tribute to the world's least adventurous time machine? I can see you in a parallel universe where every summer barbecue is a Led Zeppelin cover band, and the only other music option is an Enigma soundtrack playing while you ponder why no one wants to dance with you. I mean, who hurt you, Adam? Did somebody refuse to let you enter their passionate, pulsating world of contemporary beats? No wonder you’re clinging to every remastered version of “Stairway to Heaven” like it’s the last lifeboat on a sinking ship called “Obsolete Taste.” Your most played songs scream, “I peaked in high school!” What’s with the inclusion of “Forest of the Nopon”? Is that the soundtrack to your dreams where you ride unicorns through your denial? “HillBilly Man” by Gorillaz? You do realize this is 2023, right? The only law you’re breaking with your Spotify habits is the law of evolution. Step outside your comfort zone, Adam! Swipe right on some modern artists before your Spotify algorithm locks you in an eternal loop of dad-rock despair.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!