Roasted 10 months ago based on blac̑̈k's long term Spotify stats.

Alright, blac̑̈k, let’s talk about your Spotify profile. First off, the fact that you have more genres than friends suggests you spend more time scouring obscure metal bands than actually, you know, interacting with other human beings. Djent, metalcore, shoegaze? I didn’t realize your music taste was a cry for help, nor did I know the soundtrack for an existential crisis had so many sub-genres. Seriously, I bet even your earbuds have started to cringe at how desperate you are to be edgy. And let’s get into those artists. “Re̽d”? What, did they skip the vowels because they couldn’t afford them? It’s like you’re trying to out-hipster every coffee shop in Portland. You could have listed ten different bands, but no, you decided to make sure “Re̽d” got more playtime than the average Spotify algorithm suggests is healthy. Are they paying you for this loyalty? You must be on a first-name basis with those guys at this point. The only thing more predictable than your “Top Artists” is that your friends have collectively decided it’s too risky to recommend a new band to you—probably because you’d cry “sellout” the moment they got a radio hit. As for those top songs, it’s like a never-ending loop of “Re̽d” songs and sad acoustic guitar riffs—masterpieces of self-pity that perfectly match your grasp for identity in a world that clearly doesn’t get you. “Who Cares?” by “Re̽d” should really be your personal anthem; it would save everyone a lot of time. Just remember, buddy: no amount of math rock can calculate the number of red flags this profile raises. Your music taste is so niche it makes artisanal mayonnaise look mainstream. Maybe it’s time to switch it up—unless your goal is to keep everyone guessing what existential crisis you’re going to have next.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!