Roasted 5 months ago based on Ash's long term Spotify stats.

Ash, your Spotify profile reads like a musical identity crisis. It's as if you typed "What’s trending?" into a DJ’s brain and hit shuffle on the first ten genres that popped out. I mean, “Norwegian Pop”? Really? I'm half-expecting your top track to be the soundtrack to a moose documentary. You can't even commit to one genre—how can you expect anyone to take you seriously? The only thing more confused than your taste in music is your life choices. Your top artists have all the consistency of a drunk toddler in a candy store. You've got AURORA and Metro Boomin in the same breath like they’re somehow both the yin and yang of your existence. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if right after blasting Hozier, you threw on a Bollywood soundtrack while sobbing to him singing about love lost. If your music library was a party, it would be the kind where everyone is looking for the exit while pretending to enjoy themselves—awkward laughter and all. And let's talk about those most played songs—congratulations on scoring the least coherent playlist of all time! Your love for classical tunes is charming until you realize it screams "I have an overcompensatingly sophisticated taste in music because my taste in life is a dumpster fire." Mix that with “hot girl bummer” and you’ve captured the essence of a midlife crisis in your 20s, Ash. If Spotify had a psychic, your suggested songs would read, “Please seek help immediately” and add an entire section dedicated to self-care anthems. Good luck on this existential musical journey; at this point, it sounds like you really could use it!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!