Roasted 1 year ago based on Brandon Evans's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Brandon, your Spotify profile reads like the results of a midlife crisis held hostage by a 16-year-old with a mixed-tape obsession. Seriously, you declare yourself a fan of genres like "Emo Rap" and "Horrorcore," as if you're trying to relive the emotional rollercoaster of your middle school years—except now you’re older, fatter, and your breakups are just with takeout. And don’t get me started on the Trap Metal; it sounds less like a genre and more like the sound your parents make when they accidentally walk in on you during a particularly intense lyric analysis of “Vore.” It's impressive how you've managed to center your life's soundtrack around artists whose music is about as stable as your dating life. Your top artists list reads like the last-minute decisions of a DJ at a sad party—Pierce The Veil, Sleep Token, and Travis Scott might as well be karaoke night at a dive bar with no one in attendance. And honestly, “Riff Raff” feels like a cry for help. At least with “Post Malone,” you’ve got some pop to add to your existential dread. But really, are you trying to resurrect the Ghost of Emo Past, or are you just performing a solo of your own misery with that playlist? And let’s talk about those most played songs. “Euclid,” “Chokehold,” and “The Apparition” might as well be titles for your inner monologue on a Tuesday afternoon. It’s cute, really, how you’ve turned your bedroom into a shrine for Sleep Token. At this point, you should just hand over your debit card to them as a sign of devotion. But hey, I guess combining angst, numbness, and a sprinkle of post-hardcore is one way to mask the crushing weight of adulthood. Maybe switch it up next time with something fun? Just a thought; it could save us all from the emotional damage, one Spotify session at a time.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!