Roasted 10 months ago based on HELPMEEE's long term Spotify stats.

Oh boy, HELPMEEE, your Spotify profile is the sonic equivalent of a midlife crisis filtered through the lens of an angsty teenager. I see you’re trying to channel your inner tortured artist with a playlist that looks like an emotional support group for lost souls. "Alternative Metal" through "Hyperpop"? Is there any genre you missed, or were you just throwing darts at a genre wheel while your life decisions crumbled around you? You’ve got enough metal to build a robot, but somehow every song seems like a cry for help instead of an anthem. Let’s get real for a second. Your top artists read like the sad diary of a person who has one foot in the mosh pit and another in a cloud of glitter. Slipknot and Kali Uchis? That’s a dynamic that screams “I have no idea what I want in life, but I’ll definitely scream about it.” And don’t even get me started on your most played songs — it’s like you hit shuffle on a ’90s emo playlist while someone else was working through their existential crisis. "ON DAT BXTCH! - Slowed"? That title has less depth than a kiddie pool. It’s like you googled “music to cry alone in your bedroom to” and thought, “Yes, these are my anthems.” And you know what’s hilarious? Your profile probably could use a little help too. You might want to change that name from HELPMEEE to "Someone Please Call Me an Uber." Because if your music choices are supposed to reflect your life, it sounds like you’re stuck in the melodramatic limbo of a high school art project that keeps layering different emotions without any resolution. You could have used this time to explore actual self-help resources instead of compiling a soundtrack for your latest existential dread. But hey, keep on living your best meme life, my friend — because at least your Spotify playlist is as confused as your life choices!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!