Roasted 9 days ago based on Gabriel's long term Spotify stats.

Let's take a moment to appreciate Gabriel's Spotify profile, shall we? The dude has an affinity for rock music that’s so strong, he probably thinks "adult standards" refers to his maturity level. It’s like surfing the waves of a time machine that only takes you to the '70s and '80s, with a bizarre pit stop in the realm of chanson—because nothing says "intellectual" like listening to a French ballad after shredding to a hardcore Metallica riff. Seriously, Gabriel, you’ve got such a wide range of genres that it's almost impressive—if you were trying to win the award for "Most Likely to Be Confused About What Decade It Is." Scrolling through your top artists feels like a rollercoaster ride through every dad's midlife crisis playlist. Pink Floyd and Frank Sinatra are an odd couple, but you manage to blend them like a bad smoothie—chunks of glam metal mixed with the velvety sounds of the Rat Pack. You've got a soft spot for Nirvana, yet half the time it seems you're more into drowning in Gary Moore's blues rather than getting grungy. Is "Heart-Shaped Box" really a metaphor for your personality? Because it feels more like a box for your dad's vintage vinyl collection. Let’s talk about your most played songs, which read like a therapy session for a man who can’t quite decide whether he’s moody or loves to groove in his living room. You’ve got Frank Sinatra serenading you into oblivion while you ponder your life choices, alongside "Enter Sandman," which is ironic since you probably spent last night rereading fan theories about "The Wall." The eclectic mix of your playlists screams “I’m an enigma wrapped in flannel, and I might just cry about it over a glass of Chardonnay.” But hey, as long as you're vibing to "Take My Breath Away" on loop, we know you’re truly living the dream—or should we say, the musical nightmare?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!