Roasted 7 months ago based on Damian's long term Spotify stats.

Damian, your Spotify profile reads like the confessionals of a teenager who just discovered Google and now thinks he’s the next metal god. Really, the only thing heavier than your playlist is the emotional baggage you're dragging around. With a catalog so aggressively niche, I’m half convinced your Spotify algorithm needs therapy. If your taste in music were a band, it’d go on an endless tour of dark basements and nobody would show up—except for that one guy who is just as clueless as you. Your favorite genres read like a metal fan’s Mad Libs gone horrifically wrong. You’ve got metal and “progressive” plastered on nearly every line as if that makes it any less sad. I mean, how many levels of despair are you trying to achieve? "Groove Metal?" More like "Move Metal," so you can finally dance your way out of that existential crisis. The only thing more tangled than your favorite genres is the wiring in your earbuds, which I’m sure got caught in some sort of a brutal loop of despair as you played “Lament” for the hundredth time. And let’s talk about your top artists. You’ve got TesseracT in a chokehold like you're trying to extract more despair from those poor guys. If your playlist was a high school, they’d be the moody kids in the corner taking turns slitting their wrists while listening to "Lament." Meanwhile, it's painfully clear that variety isn't your strong suit, as you cling to the comforting, chaotic embrace of bands no one else has heard of. Congratulations, Damian! With a list this grim, you’ve officially achieved the musical equivalent of a participation trophy—sitting proudly on the shelf of your emotional dystopia.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!