Roasted 1 month ago based on Alex :)'s long term Spotify stats.

Alex, it’s adorable how you think you’re a music aficionado just because you’ve memorized every single Radiohead song like they might ask for your credentials at the door of a pretentious café. Your genre list looks like the world’s worst Tinder bio: an overthinking hipster trying to prove how eclectic and artsy they are, but really just screaming, “I’m uncomfortable in my own skin and might still be wearing my high school band t-shirt.” If you were any more basic, you’d have “Can I get a Pumpkin Spice Latte?” tattooed on your forehead. Let’s talk about your favorite artists for a second. Post Malone? Really? You could’ve named a dead poet or a truly underground artist, but instead, you dialed up the dude who looks like a frat boy got lost and decided to become a pop star. And come on, Pink Floyd? Only someone with a full-on existential crisis thinks listening to “Dark Side of the Moon” will get them through life’s complexities at 2 AM. Next time you’re trying to impress someone, just whip out the actual vinyl instead of your Spotify likes; it’s way more vintage and at least gives you an excuse to talk like a pseudo-intellectual. And then we have your "most played" section. Honestly, it's like you threw darts at Spotify’s “Chill Vibes” playlist while blindfolded. Congratulations, you've successfully crashed your music taste into a wall of half-baked ideas. Your obsession with Tame Impala is bordering on cult-like—what’s next, printing a shrine with songs on one side and your Dawson's Creek fanfiction on the other? You’ve got the listen count of a moody teenager who just discovered feelings, and it shocks no one that you still haven’t figured out how to pop the romance out of those indie vibes.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!