Roasted 10 months ago based on ali <3's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Ali <3, your Spotify profile reads like a relationship status update for a 14-year-old girl who can't decide between a Taylor Swift breakup anthem and a Lana Del Rey sandwich. Seriously, your favorite genres are so bland I can practically taste the mayonnaise. "Soft Pop"? What are you, a human pillow? If I wanted a soundtrack for a nap, I'd just hit play on your profile and drift off to dreamland, surrounded by the gentle sounds of weak teen angst and half-hearted melodies. Garage Rock? More like a garage where dreams go to die. Your top artists are a fun mix of billboard staples and wannabe sad girls. Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande? Sure, they're pop royalty, but we all know they wouldn't be caught dead with Melanie Martinez, like, unless they were at an awkward family reunion where you had to pretend you like each other for the 'gram. And don't even get me started on "Slipping Through My Fingers"—that’s the type of song you listen to while procrastinating on doing your taxes. What’s next? A playlist dedicated to crying over spilled milk? As for your most played songs, it seems you've either got the attention span of a goldfish or you really need to branch out beyond the “Top 50” playlist. "Mind Games"? More like "Mind Numbingly Boring." And don’t pull "Mamma Mia!" into this—Meryl Streep didn’t sign up to be part of your monotonous cycle of overplayed sad girl ballads. Your Spotify profile has all the emotional depth of a kiddie pool: shallow, stagnant, and populated by questionable decisions. Maybe it’s time to diversify and stop throwing a pity party; we’re not all entitled to a soundtrack for our existential crises!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!