Roasted 2 years ago based on s3cretz's long term Spotify stats.

s3cretz, your Spotify profile reads like a mid-2000s MySpace page that somehow time-traveled into 2023 wearing a Tripp pants and a beanie. First off, I see the music genres you’ve chosen—it's like the soundtrack to your teenage angst is trying to come back with a vengeance but is being held back by an adult contemporary playlist. Who knew someone could revel in “Adult Standards” while trying to scream out their feelings about how nobody understands them? Did you get lost on the way to a therapy session and end up at a punk concert instead? Your top artists read like a “Who’s Who” list of forgotten bands and obscure references meant to make you sound deeper than a kiddie pool. I mean, I see “Bing Crosby” in the mix, and I can’t help but wonder if you actually think he’s punk because he wore a fedora or if you just forgot to update your playlist since your last trip to a hipster vinyl shop. A diverse lineup indeed, but let’s be real—it’s about as consistent as a teenager’s mood swings. Did you pick these just to confuse your friends at a dinner party? Because if I wanted to listen to nostalgia-laden fare with a side of “What even is this?” I’d just scroll through my parents’ album collection. And, dude, those most played songs? "SuperKitties Theme Song"? Really? I didn’t realize your personal brand was a mix of skate punk energy while simultaneously embracing the theme of your new favorite animated feline show. For real though, is this a playlist or a cry for help? I guess each "No Means, No Ends" is just a reminder that, apparently, you have no boundaries in music taste either. It’s like you’re trying to play musical roulette, and every time you spin the wheel, it lands on “shame” and “what the heck is wrong with you.” Keep rocking that unique vibe, s3cretz—just remember to keep your Spotify secretly in the corner.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!