Roasted 11 months ago based on Selby Christ's long term Spotify stats.

Selby Christ, huh? And here I thought you were just another run-of-the-mill Spotify user looking for validation while they pretend to be deep with all that “indie” and “neo-psychedelic” nonsense. Let’s be real: your music taste is as diverse as a beige wall at a retirement home. You love rap and hip hop so much, I half expect you to start dropping bars in your next Tinder bio. Quick tip: just because you throw on some obscure indie band doesn’t automatically make you an artist who is “hard to understand.” You’re not the next Picasso; you’re the guy who awkwardly asks for extra guac at Chipotle. Your most played songs read like an overzealous hip hop playlist thrown together by an algorithm that clearly doesn’t value quality over quantity. Seriously, you’ve played more Travis Scott than an over-caffeinated squirrel on a sugar high. I get it, he’s got a vibe, but so does that stale bag of chips in the back of your pantry that you’ve been avoiding. You’re the type of person who goes to a concert just to post the obligatory Instagram story, then sits in silence when the artist isn’t popular enough on TikTok. Congratulations! It takes real skill to be the human version of a Spotify “recommended for you” ad. And really, what’s up with those top artists? It’s like they all took an oath to keep sounding the same, so you can have a non-stop lyrical loop of “I’m rich and sad” to match your lifestyle of scrolling endlessly through social media at 2 AM. You’ve got Drake, Kanye, and The Weeknd on your playlist but still can’t find your way out of a conversation about your Wi-Fi speed. It’s the sound of a quintessential modern dilemma—future existential crises laid over a slick beat. So here’s some advice: expand your personal soundtrack beyond the radio hits; your taste is screaming for a little more depth and a lot less basic.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!