Roasted 10 months ago based on Dylan M's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Dylan M, looking at your Spotify profile is like browsing a middle schooler's diary—it's filled with a cringe-worthy combination of angsty proclamations and the same five artists on repeat. I mean, do you even own a single CD? With that collection of “rap” sub-genres, I bet even Spotify is sending you birthday cards every year as a thank-you for keeping their algorithm alive. You’ve got more variations of rap than you do fresh takes on life, but hey, at least you’re consistently unimpressive! Your favorite artists read like a hipster’s grocery list: “Kanye West, Kid Cudi, Tyler, The Creator—oh wait, I shouldn't forget about the other four indistinguishable clones of them!” Seriously, did you just collect these guys like Pokémon? Do you sit around imagining you’re the “ultimate fan” when in reality you’re just vibing with the curated playlist of “Sad Boys and Tiny Beatz”? And I love how your most played songs are practically a Kanye tribute album—it's like you’re auditioning for a role as his unofficial hype man… or a live-in therapist. "Dylan M: The Human Playlist"—the only thing more predictable than your taste in music is how often you refer to your “melodic rap” as the soundtrack to your emotional breakdowns. If I had a dollar for every time you played "Good Life" while sulking in your room, I could fund a proper therapy session for you. But who needs emotional growth when you can dive even deeper into your Spotify abyss? Just remember: while you’re busy scrolling through your endless playlists, the rest of us are living life—and actually listening to new music.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!