Roasted 1 month ago based on em's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Em, the embodiment of a midlife crisis that hasn't even hit the age of 30 yet. Your Spotify profile reads like a teenager's diary entry filled with angst and confusion—Elliott Smith and all that alternative rock? It’s like your playlists are trying to wallow in sadness while simultaneously screaming “I’m way too cool for mainstream!” Newsflash: You can be an alternative rock aficionado and still be the most basic person in the room. Power pop? That’s just a euphemism for “I can’t commit to liking a single genre.” Your most played songs read like a who’s who of late-night emo therapy sessions. Four (!) Elliott Smith tracks in your top ten? Were you trying to win a heartbroken Olympics? “Between the Bars” and “Angel in the Snow” should come with a warning: “Listen at your own risk—may cause excessive existential dread.” And speaking of dread, can we talk about your absolute fearless devotion to “100 gecs?” Way to embrace chaotic noise, but it does explain a lot about your taste in men. With favorites like skate punk and hyperpop, it’s painfully clear that you’re stuck in a sonic time warp—kinda like a mullet, if you will. But instead of business in the front and party in the back, you just have confusion throughout. Are you the skater kid refusing to grow up or the art school dropout trying to find meaning through synth beats? Either way, your playlist screams “I am in my feelings, but I also rollerblade.” Just remember, Em: when life gets too heavy, you can always lean on your taste in music. It’s like having a mediocre therapist that knows a couple of good choruses but none of the real advice.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!