Roasted 2 years ago based on Paul's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Paul, your Spotify profile reads like the mixtape they play at the nursing home’s Saturday night dance party. You’ve got more genres than personality, clinging to “Mellow Gold” and “Neo Mellow” like that’s some kind of badge of honor. I can practically hear your Spotify suggesting a warm glass of milk and “Polk Salad Annie” while you sit in your favorite armchair, elbow-deep in dad jokes. Seriously, how many 60-year-old women did you rob for this runway of musical choices? Your top artists list is basically a who’s who of music's most comfortable shoes. Yusuf / Cat Stevens and John Mellencamp? Great choices if you're looking for a soundtrack to your midlife crisis. And don’t get me started on your most-played songs—I mean, “Shivers” by Ed Sheeran? That’s the biggest giveaway that your idea of a wild night involves a heated conversation about the difference between “Soft Rock” and “Classic Rock” by the fire. If your Spotify were a person, it would be sitting alone in a corner at the party, sipping on a diet soda, and trying to join conversations that were already way out of reach. It's a wonder you've got “New Romantic” thrown in there considering you haven’t had a romantic encounter since the last time someone made eye contact with you while loading a shopping cart at the grocery store. But hey, keep those vibes alive, Paul! One day you might discover the courage to advance past “Singer-Songwriter” and take your first tentative steps into something edgier—like, gasp, an actual modern playlist. Until then, enjoy your static-filled serenades to nostalgia and aimless cruising down the sad street of soft soundtracks. If you need me, I'll be blasting some real bangers to drown out your playlist echoing through the halls of musical mediocrity.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!