Roasted 11 months ago based on Dylan Ridley's long term Spotify stats.

Dylan Ridley, your Spotify profile is like a high school yearbook entry gone horribly wrong. It’s a tragic blend of emo, country, and rap that screams to the world, “I can’t decide if I want to cry, line dance, or drop some bars!” Seriously, how does someone go from crying into their flannel to twanging on a banjo to rapping about their feelings? If music genres were a dating app, I’m pretty sure yours would be left on “swipe left” for life. Your top artists read like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis happening at a garage sale. You’ve got Hot Mulligan, whose songs’ titles sound like angsty text messages sent after one too many energy drinks, alongside the wholesome energy of Disney Peaceful Piano. And let’s not even start on your undying love for Morgan Wallen. Are you trying to make a statement, or did you just forget your musical identity on a really bad road trip? At this point, I’m surprised your playlists aren’t just titled “Emotional Chaos” and “What Am I Even Doing?” And wow, your most played songs truly take the cake. Who knew you could curate a playlist that feels like an inside joke no one wants to be part of? With titles like “Christ Alive My Toe Dammit Hurts” and “Drink Milk and Run,” it’s clear you’ve got a deep appreciation for absurdity. Are you trying to be the poster child for what happens when adulthood hits too hard, or is this just an elaborate prank? Either way, I just hope you’re taking notes, because it’s a tragicomedy that should definitely come with a warning label for anyone brave enough to hit ‘play.’

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