Roasted 10 months ago based on Kaleb Timan's long term Spotify stats.

Kaleb Timan, your Spotify profile is a delightful journey through the musical purgatory that exists between a dad trying to remain relevant and a middle schooler discovering "edgy" music for the first time. You have the kind of taste that makes a classic rock radio station sound cutting-edge. Honestly, with a favorite genre list that reads like a “how to be basic” manual, I half-expect you to drop an "I love classic rock, but I also love my mother's apron" bumper sticker on your car. Your top artists are the ultimate lineup for a 50s revival that’s too afraid to break out of the mold. Queen and David Bowie? A great start—now if only you’d remembered this isn't 1975. Journey? I get it, you dream of "Don't Stop Believin'" as you struggle to get your life in gear. But with other gems in your list like Conway Twitty and Billy Joel, I'm shocked you don't have a vinyl version of "How to Mend a Broken Heart" sitting at the top of your shelf for when the going gets tough (spoiler alert: that's every day). And let’s talk about your most played songs. Sturgill Simpson's "Breakers Roar"? Nothing says “I might have a podcast” quite like that. And then you hit 'Always Something There to Remind Me'? Honestly, you could play that on loop while reminding yourself how every decision you make is a reminder of poor choices. With a playlist this flat, I can already hear the crowd chanting, “Just give up!” every time you hit play. Remember, Kaleb: music is meant to lift you up—not weigh you down like a heavy vinyl brick!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!